I was born and raised in California. Growing up I lived with my mom, my three brothers and a stepdad. My mom worked a lot so she was constantly out of the house. At the age of six, I went through a traumatic experience that left me feeling like I didn’t have a voice. I was fearful and anxious most of the time growing up. I began to experiment with drugs and alcohol when I was in junior high. The more I drank and used, the more I realized I was able to forget about the abuse I had gone through. At the age of sixteen, I left my mom’s house never to go back. From that point on, I became very troubled and recklessly careless. I dropped out of school and began to run the streets. During that time, I met people and got introduced to harder drugs. For so many years my life would continue like this. Jumping from relationship to relationship and seeking love for all the wrong reasons left me hurt and feeling rejected. I didn’t care about anything or anyone. My focus was to escape reality and have fun while doing it.
Drugs led me to separation from my family. I lost emotional connection with myself and life. I was in and out of juvenile hall. It got to a point where I no longer used drugs to cover up my pain but instead used in hope of not getting dope sick.
There came a point in my life when I realized I needed help because my life took a turn for the worse. I lost custody of all three of my boys, one after the other, and jail became a revolving door. I had lost everything that once had meaning in my life. My mom got deported, my older brother committed suicide and my little brothers were left to fend for themselves. I was homeless with nothing to show for my life. While everyone around me progressed in life, I just became depressed to see my life the way it was. I was caught up in a vicious cycle that I could not get myself out of. I was lonely and wandering around aimlessly with no direction.
I heard about the Hoving Home when I was in county jail waiting to get sentenced. I was told by the judge to look into getting into a year-long residential treatment program so I made some calls and, after doing an assessment over the phone, I was accepted. When I walked through the doors of the Hoving Home, I no longer felt hopeless. I was loved and cared for until I was able to do this for myself. I was reintroduced to my first love, Jesus. This relationship was special, intimate and personal like no other. I learned much healthier ways to express my feelings and emotions and no longer did I have to run to a drug for comfort. I wasn’t alone and had many people on my side along the way. I learned that it’s through the Holy Word and Spirit that my mind is able to be renewed and transformed. Sitting still and spending time reading the Bible has been the cure for me. This is one of my favorite things I learned while being at Hoving Home. I know that my true identity is in Christ alone and that without Him I can do nothing. I am no longer a statistic but a child of God and, today, I can’t see my life without Jesus in it. My family is slowly being restored. The promise the Lord gave me in regard to my children still stands and I believe Him for it. Life is still life and challenges still come; however, I trust Jesus to sustain me through it all. His grace is sufficient and more is yet to come. Life hasn’t been the same and today I am truly blessed to share how the Lord has taken me from glory to glory!
I completed the program in California in 2023 and came to the Leadership Academy in New York. I was there for 6 months diving into an intense curriculum taught and led by our wonderful Pastor Tim. After being there for some time and learning as much as possible I came to the New Jersey home as an apprentice. I have now been offered a position to work for the Home. I have been entrusted with the privilege of giving back what was freely given to me….to help women find themselves but most importantly find Jesus.
My favorite scripture is: Isaiah 40:31, “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
What book is on your nightstand: My Bible, however one of my favorite books is “The Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyers.
What is one of my favorite memories of the Hoving Home: Fourth of July, being able to go to the nearby high school and sit in the field and watch everyone be happy, singing and shouting for joy and waiting for the fireworks to go off. In that moment the Lord spoke to me and showed me that there is more to life than what I’ve always settled for.
What is my favorite food: Chicken Flautas
What makes you laugh: People being their authentic selves, silly and goofy!
What is your favorite quote: “ When God interrupts your life, He is calling you to follow Him in a new way. By breaking into your settled pattern, He is moving you to a new place where you can make fresh discoveries of His grace. Embracing God’s call is never easy, but this is where the pursuit of a God-centered life begins, and where the shame of a self-centered life is exposed.”
Colin S. Smith